Work Heck

An accurate account of Day Job insanity.

*WARNING: Language may be inappropriate for some audiences*

7am—Work started, and it all fell apart very quickly.

I have an 833-pg document to work in and Word loses its shit when dealing with big docs for work. So, it was unresponsive for like 30 mins. That’s cool. I’m patient.

Then, I make like 3 global changes to it and on the fourth, it locks up. So, I shut it down and restarted. Saved before trying #4 again and it seemed to work.



Re-open the doc and the phrase I had searched for to highlight had been deleted from the entire document.

9am—I stop freaking out.

Open the backup doc and commence recovering all the lost bits. The program, I wrote, usually works within 10 minutes and spits out a list with heading tags for locations of the sought info. It was taking way too long.

10am—I got a notification that I have a meeting at 11

10:30—I text message my boss to let her know I’m going to be a couple of minutes late because the process still isn’t anywhere near done and I really don’t want to have to start it over, but my computer is locked up tight (thus the text) and I can’t send emails or join the Zoom.

11:03—Email message preview pops up.

On my phone, I read “Meeting time. Are you coming?”

Fuming, I abort the recovery and join the meeting.

Fucking Meeting

The corp that bought my workplace made us all take this stupid engagement survey and then we had to have no less than 3 meetings about it. This was meeting 2. Straight away, I’m already pissy about the computer heck, so I should have never plugged in my mic. But me being me… I not only know what needs to be said, but I, apparently, have to be the one to say it, too.

I tried really hard to be professional and not cross any lines.

Not sure I succeeded.

On the plus side, every single co-worker piped up right behind me to echo or encourage my sentiments. Three of them sent personal notes of thanks to let me know they wanted to say it but didn’t know how. So, great. Now I’m not only a dissenter, but I’m a shit-stirring troublemaker and gang leader, too. >.>

So that 1-hour meeting went long…

1:30pm—Meeting ends and my bladder is about to burst.

I go pee and then hop back on that document recovery

3pm–Ree!!! It took 1.5 hours… I’m supposed to be done for the day at that point. Then… just when I think I can finally finish the recovery and merge the recovered info with the live doc… 486 instances… I realize, “Duh you dumb shit, you could have done this so much faster…”

3:05pm—I begin the faster process as it is still faster than the recovery I was attempting.

I Was Fucking Livid.

I lost an entire day and a couple of hours of my own life over the stupid fucking server bus…

So I finally got the doc recovered and saved and notated that this is what happened and this is where to find the pre-corruption versions if I missed anything… blah blah

3:30pm–I get a message from the boss.

She thanks me for all the good feedback and actionable steps I offered for each and every complaint.


I tell her the corruption story, in brief, and that I am sending an IT ticket as soon as I’m sure the document is recovered and good.

4pm—Email boss, what support address am I supposed to use?

The corp broke our simple support email into 6 or 8 that all handle different things. Fuckers.

Not a single one looked like it was the appropriate one so I just picked the most general one I could and sent it, copied both bosses, and told IT I already recovered it for myself since it would take them like 2 weeks, and I don’t have that kind of time. And that it is a problem I’ve been having with my Office suite since the 2017 update.

Backstory—they have tried to rebuild my profile and find the problem like 3 times but have never fixed it. It looks like the virtual machine I log into and on which my profile runs is having bus errors and dropping packets between its local cache memory server and the system main server. That’s why it saved a copy of the temp file with the phrases deleted and not the final file with them returned and highlighted. But who am I, just an editor with no formal IT experience who has in fact fixed several issues Code was having with IT that they didn’t even know how to approach but that doesn’t mean shit, I’m not an IT dude…

5pm—I should have been off work and happily drowning my sorrows 2 hours ago.

I just want a little comfort something. An order of Chinese dumplings ($15) would be awesome. Or maybe Z will throw a steak on the grill for me, let me check the bank and make sure I don’t have to dip into savings to order dumplings… REE!!!!!

(To be clear, I could have sacrificed one item or the other to get dumplings if I really wanted them, but I don’t have the flexibility at the moment that I would like and feel like I work hard enough to deserve.)

I Need Comfort Dammit!

5:20pm—Go seek the calming comfort of the Z

But he is the one I blame for not having the flexibility to comfort myself.

So, it does not come out the way I want it to.

What comes out is more like, “You are the asshole who makes it impossible for me to enjoy the benefit of my hard work.”

Then, double meltdown. Our mental health issues collided and exploded into one nuclear meltdown the size of my living room.

And… in the most shameful act of petulance I have EVER displayed, I took my old laptop that Z uses, and tried to flush it down the toilet.  >.>

After I threw it on the floor and stomped on it. Jumped up and down in fact.

Did you know that if you lose weight, even if you use to be able to break a screen by stepping on it, you can’t anymore?

**No electronics were actually harmed in this fit as I am completely ineffectual at destruction.

The damned thing didn’t fit in the toilet and no matter how many times I flipped it over and flushed… I barely got the casing wet.

But I did feel better.

But then I still had to figure out how to deal with a fucking big-ass document that still wanted to lag and lock up.


And… we had another one of those fucking meetings the next day.



This has been an AtoZ production. I hope you have enjoyed the show. Please tip your waiter.

*takes a bow*

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